After I was done with my testimony I walked back to my seat,
probably a little awkwardly and listened to those who came after; so many
beautiful stories of God at work in people’s lives. I encouraged another woman
from my group, after she asked me how scary it was, to go up and share hers as
well. It actually felt weird to be in that position, to encourage another, and
I said “If I can do it, anyone can do it”. Remember, I couldn’t even order for
myself at restaurants the majority of the time. She got up there and shared her
burden with the room as well. It feels good to let things out in a group that
you know loves you and supports you. The Body of Christ = the real “safe
space”.
After all the stories had been told and we were dismissed I
just figured I’d walk out and head home. Fear conquered. Then women began to
approach me, lots of them, one by one coming to hug me, thank me for my
openness, tell me about their struggles. They had such a light in their eyes,
their faces. Some told me they felt blessed to have heard what I had to say.
One woman held onto me and cried for a fairly long time. It was overwhelming
and a little uncomfortable. I didn’t feel special, this broken girl who had
always lived solely for herself and had been mostly invisible to other people.
In the years following I have been told this a number of times “you are such a
blessing to me, I’m so glad to have been in group with you/to have met you”. I
never know how to respond to that because it almost feels like I’m being given
some sort of credit for all of this. Absolutely none of the credit for anything
I have gone through in this journey can be attributed to me. Without God,
without Jesus, I’d have never ventured out of my house, I’d have never had
those experiences, and I definitely would have never stepped up on that stage.
I feel I have a duty to share these things. I want other people to experience
this wonder, this healing. Everyone should get to feel His love surround them
and they can if they only ask and open their hearts to receive.
Lay your fears, your hopes, your dreams...lay your life at His feet and He will bless you. I have no doubt.
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"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the
door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds;
and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. Matthew 7:7-8
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