I Took My Eyes Off the Master

This past weekend I attended the local If:Gathering Women's Conference at my church. I sure did need it, badly. I had no idea how badly until I started listening to these wonderful speakers who, I'm pretty sure, God was using to speak directly to me. I have a feeling every woman in there heard just the message God wanted them to hear as well.

I have been so stressed lately, to the point of true, mental exhaustion. I have been grouchy, tired, super irritable, panicked even, just feeling like I have too much pressing down on me all at once. All of those feelings are the tools of the enemy. I lost a lot of my community and accountability this past year. I dropped from BSF, the home group we were studying with broke up, and I haven't been replacing those things with local Bible studies or even just reading and staying in the Word on my own. I fell away so to speak. I didn't lose faith, I just lost sight.

This terrific speaker during the conference, Lysa Terkeurst (look her up she's great), told this really cute, funny story about learning to scuba dive and panicking while 30 ft down in the ocean and it had a very serious and very important take away. When the dive master got them back up onto the boat he pointed at her family and said "Do you know why you panicked? You took your eyes off the dive master. Never take your eyes off of the master." This hit me pretty hard because all I have been doing these past weeks has been panicking. What was I panicking over? Oh, just my plans not going the way I want them too and my desperate scramble to try to force those plans to work anyway. This was something else Lysa touched on. That we want our plans as they are and for God to bless them but not touch them. I let the enemy creep in because I took my eyes off of the Master.

I also got some pretty awesome validation at the conference. I always love it when someone has an experience or a story that has similarities to my own because I feel like it just adds that much more to how undeniable the hand of God really is. Jill Briscoe, a really lovely British octogenarian with a truly inspiring story was talking about how she was involved in outreach ministry and that throughout it all she was scared, a lot! To explain how she had the courage to walk into the places she would go she described having a heart to heart talk with God where He tells her to go and do this and she'd respond "Do I have to?" and He'd urge her on and she'd say "Yes, alright" and she'd find she could do it. She put it like this, "After obedience, the courage was waiting for me." Not until she agreed and obeyed did God bestow that courage upon her. It's an echo of my BSF Share Day experience. I was terrified, wanted any excuse to back out, wanted someone to stand with me so I wasn't at that microphone alone but He kept nudging me, telling me people needed to hear my story and as I sat there ready to signal my friend to come up with me He told me to do it alone. Though I wasn't truly alone was I? I needed to learn that and by saying "Yes, okay." to God in that moment He gave me the courage I needed to step on that stage and beyond because that was the turning point in which my fear and anxiety would no longer hold sway over my life.

I haven't felt angry or panicked since the conference. I feel like I am back on track with a weight lifted and guess what? With a clear mind I was able to work out the little life issues I was concerned about, maybe they won't all resolve on my preferred time table but they will resolve. Maybe God has some more teaching to do so it needs to take just a little longer.

So, if you are feeling down, scared, overwhelmed, or any other negative weight is on you I urge you to turn your eyes to the Master. Dig in and see what He has to say to you, because I promise you He is reaching out to you.