Joy

So my church gave us some homework this past Sunday to pick a word for the year to live by or strive for. My first thought was, "I have no idea what my word would be" and I admit to kind of shrugging it off. Now, if it is something God wants you to learn from, He's not going to let you shrug it off.

Two nights ago, I was laying with our son during the bedtime routine. This is usually my 10 mins or so of quiet time a night. It was then that the word "Joy" entered my head. Joy in the midst of stressful or difficult circumstances is one of my weak points. I am a bit of a control freak and I like things to go my way. I have a tendency to make plans for money or what have you and when it doesn't go according to my plan I get stressed out and upset and I make myself and others miserable while I try to force the situation to fit what I had wanted. It is something I have prayed for help with in the past but I still struggle with mightily.

So God has pointed me to joy. To look for and find His joy even when things aren't going to plan. My plan isn't important, His plan is and everything goes according to His plan. So when things are not going "right" we should search for His blessings within the circumstance. I have an example of just this very thing:

I have mentioned our son is having some sensory issues. He has vestibular dysfunction as well and all of this requires occupational therapy. This therapy is expensive. Back it up a bit, we have access to good health insurance through my husband's job but it is so expensive to add our son and myself to it that it would be like having two mortgages. Frankly, If I could afford that I'd rather just have a second home. So for the past couple of years I have bought individual insurance to cover just our son and I. The options have gotten less and less and, this year, were non-existent. The only places offering individual insurance only offered really terrible coverage for a high price. I was quite upset and concerned about what this would mean for us. I did a lot of research about tax penalties and options and I did a lot of praying. The direction that I felt the most peace from? Going uninsured and paying the penalty and/or hoping our new president would get rid of the mandate and perhaps not having a penalty at all. Every time I would start hunting again for a coverage solution I would feel anxiety, whenever I leaned toward having none, I felt peaceful. So that is what we did. We have no insurance and are trusting ourselves to God for protection this year.

So back to the therapy. It's expensive, as I have said, and before anyone thinks it, no it would not have been covered under any of the plan options I had available. What I did realize though, the monthly cost of the therapy is almost exactly equal (within $8) to what we paid in insurance premiums last year. I just traded one expense for another. What does this mean? It means we know we can afford it. We are only able to afford it because we had to go uninsured. When I realized this and I told my husband about it we just shared a knowing smile. The blessing within the problem. God is in control. When we surrender what we want and follow His lead it will always end up working for our good.

So JOY is my word for the year. I will strive to find the joy in all things. What will your word be?