I've been thinking about a lot of
the issues we have in this broken world, things that seem to be getting worse
and worse and our church service today actually got me thinking even harder and
finally helped me to puts these thoughts together. It was about things we allow
to stick to us and get in between husband and wife in a marriage. It got me
thinking about what things I allow to come between us in our marriage. I have
always struggled with jealousy over my husband's past relationships. Part of
that comes from anxiety over comparison, does he think I'm prettier or that he
had to settle? Am I better at this or that, including in the bedroom. Am I the
love of his life or the consolation prize? I'm also possessive and hate
thinking someone else has had his heart and his body. That's mine, I deeply
wish it was never anyone else's. I think that comes from the fact that God
created us to be with one person for life and when we run off and do what feels
good we throw that out of balance. I'm guilty too.
I saw a post recently regarding
saving yourself until marriage. The comments on it were predictably sad. So
much laughter and ridicule over the idea of it. As if waiting is so impossible
as to be ludicrous. One person said “you wouldn't buy a car without test
driving first would you?” At the time I thought that was kind of gross but
thinking more deeply on it today it came to me that people don't even view each
other as people anymore. Sex and even marriage is like a transaction. You just
compared the choosing of a spouse to buying a car. Something basically
disposable. Something you replace when it's worn out or you tire of it. Just
the way marriage is handled nowadays. Another comment said “how do you know if
the sex is good unless you've “ridden” around town first”. First of all,
if you haven't been with anyone else, how do you know it's bad? Secondly, and
more importantly, you are inviting comparison into the relationship before it
even exists! You are setting yourself up for failure and heartache. We shouldn't
have to worry if our spouse is comparing us to someone else, we should be able
to be fully open, naked in every way to them and not have to feel fear or
shame.
God's plan was for us to choose a
partner and that we then do lives together. We give ourselves to that one
chosen person, forever. Now, think about how many things that are seen as
problems, epidemic even, these days. STDs, abortion, divorce, the jealousies
that wouldn't even exist if everyone would wait. How much of this stuff would
be solved or at least be reduced to a minor blip if we just treated sex and
marriage as the covenant that God created it to be?
What if we just listened to Him,
instead of that serpent whispering in our ear?
Now the man and his wife were both
naked, but they felt no shame - Genesis 2:25
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