We have had a lot of things going on with our son recently. He's been dealing with anxieties and setbacks. He's being defiant and difficult. He's testing boundaries. We made the decision as a family that I would step away from BSF for current "school" year. Our son was not coping well with my being gone one night a week. We thought he'd get used to it but his issues got worse instead of better. It culminated with him having a meltdown at school and then his telling me that his tummy was real upset and that it had to do with me leaving that night for class. I agonized over it for a while but ultimately made that sacrifice for my son. I feel a bit like I am floating without a life jacket, my fellowship gone. I'm sure God has plans though, He always does. So I'm patiently waiting to learn what He has in store for me next, to get me through this next season.
On another note, our son's teachers made us aware of some red flags they were noticing and some issues he was having and urged me to set him up for an evaluation. I don't know what all they are looking for, sensory processing disorder, autism, maybe other stuff? This is new territory for me. It's also painful territory. I had such a terrible feeling of guilt when they told me. Thinking about where I messed up or what I could have passed on to him. I had problems of my own as a child. I'm probably on the spectrum but never been evaluated or anything. My son and I are both highly intelligent and unfortunately that usually comes with eccentricities. We will find out more this Friday at his appointment.
I do know that through all this and over these past few year God has been preparing me to deal with whatever might be coming. He's given me the strength and the tools to advocate for my child. He has been faithful and blessed us, any time something has come up that may have caused a distraction He has solved it. He always provides just enough. Some expected financial issue comes up, we get an opportunity or something I am selling goes for exactly the amount we need. He's cleared my plate so that I can focus on this.
God always provides. You may not get exactly what you ask for and on your time table but you will get exactly what you need in His perfect timing.
-The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside quiet waters. He restores my soul;
He guides me in the paths of righteousness for His name's sake.
Even thought I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You have anointed my head with oil; My cup overflows.
Surely goodness and loving kindness will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. - Psalm 23
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