Giving Thanks

I mean, what better topic for the day before Thanksgiving right?

I am feeling particularly thankful today. I got to wake up this morning to my 4 year old crawling into my bed, snuggling up to my face and saying "I love you" totally unbidden. In the stresses of this roller coaster we call life it can be easy to overlook the small blessings that surround us. The touch of a child's hand, a cool breeze on your face, the beauty of nature and being able to witness the majesty of God's creation.

I am thankful that God brought my husband and I together nearly 20 years ago. It hasn't been easy, marriage never is and don't let anyone tell you otherwise, we have had to fight and scrape our way through, for better and for worse and I'm so thankful that no matter how dark it got we were both too stubborn to give up on each other.

I am thankful that God changed our hearts at exactly the same time when it came to wanting a child. Neither of us wanted kids when we started this journey together. I didn't know why at the time but we both felt the need to start a family at the same moment and I was immediately pregnant. I wouldn't trade our son for anything on this earth. He has enriched our lives and made things harder too but so worth it.

I am thankful that I listened to that inner voice that I didn't have a name for yet when it told me to go sign up for Bible Study Fellowship. God placed me in the exact right group at the exact right time and my healing journey began. And I am beyond thankful and honored that I have gotten to hear that voice a few times since and know it now as the Holy Spirit himself. Thankful that He told me to get up out of my seat and share my testimony to that room full of women, alone because He was there with me. Not everyone gets gifted with hearing the actual voice of God. He probably just knew that was what it would take for me to break free from my prison of fear and anxiety.

I'm thankful for that healing because it has enabled me to advocate for my family and actually live life! I feel like there are no longer limitations on what I can accomplish and I know that if my son needs me to fight for him or stand up for him that I can actually do it without hesitation. I actually kind of think that this is why I was healed in the first place but truly only God knows His purposes.

I'm thankful for the friends and family that have always been around and for the new friends I have made along the way.

I'm thankful for my church for it feeling like my home away from home. I seriously would spend every day there if I could. The pastors and the staff there are all such amazing, beautiful people and I just wish I could drag everyone I know there with me!

I'm sure there are countless more things to be thankful for but there is one that is greater than any other. I'm thankful for Jesus Christ, my savior and my redeemer. My Father in heaven, my Abba, my one and only Creator. The Holy Spirit that lives within me, my guide and my comforter. All of these in One. Without which, I wouldn't exist, nothing would exist. He gave it all for us. He left His throne and walked among us. He was tortured and crucified on the cross of our transgressions because of His unending love for us, His children.

Thank you Jesus, may I live my life for you always!

-As the Father has loved Me, so have I loved you. Remain in My love. If you keep My commandments, you will remain in My love, just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and remain in His love. I have told you these things so that My joy may be in you and your joy may be complete.

This is My commandment, that you love one another as I loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.

You are My friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not understand what his master is doing. But I have called you friends, because everything I have learned from My Father I have made known to you. You did not choose Me, but I chose you. And I appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will remain—so that whatever you ask the Father in My name, He will give you. This is My command to you: Love one another. John 15:9-17

Tired Rather Than Inspired

Well that about sums up my past week and a half. I apologize for not having a post last week and so far not having one this week. I have definitely been tired rather than inspired lately. Maybe that's okay, maybe its what needed to happen.
We have had a lot of things going on with our son recently. He's been dealing with anxieties and setbacks. He's being defiant and difficult. He's testing boundaries. We made the decision as a family that I would step away from BSF for current "school" year. Our son was not coping well with my being gone one night a week. We thought he'd get used to it but his issues got worse instead of better. It culminated with him having a meltdown at school and then his telling me that his tummy was real upset and that it had to do with me leaving that night for class. I agonized over it for a while but ultimately made that sacrifice for my son. I feel a bit like I am floating without a life jacket, my fellowship gone. I'm sure God has plans though, He always does. So I'm patiently waiting to learn what He has in store for me next, to get me through this next season.
On another note, our son's teachers made us aware of some red flags they were noticing and some issues he was having and urged me to set him up for an evaluation. I don't know what all they are looking for, sensory processing disorder, autism, maybe other stuff? This is new territory for me. It's also painful territory. I had such a terrible feeling of guilt when they told me. Thinking about where I messed up or what I could have passed on to him. I had problems of my own as a child. I'm probably on the spectrum but never been evaluated or anything. My son and I are both highly intelligent and unfortunately that usually comes with eccentricities. We will find out more this Friday at his appointment.
I do know that through all this and over these past few year God has been preparing me to deal with whatever might be coming. He's given me the strength and the tools to advocate for my child. He has been faithful and blessed us, any time something has come up that may have caused a distraction He has solved it. He always provides just enough. Some expected financial issue comes up, we get an opportunity or something I am selling goes for exactly the amount we need. He's cleared my plate so that I can focus on this.
God always provides. You may not get exactly what you ask for and on your time table but you will get exactly what you need in His perfect timing.

-The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures; 
He leads me beside quiet waters. He restores my soul; 
He guides me in the paths of righteousness for His name's sake. 
Even thought I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You have anointed my head with oil; My cup overflows.
Surely goodness and loving kindness will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. - Psalm 23

God Never Changes

So in this crazy election season I have read and been told directly, even, that we should keep our religion and our beliefs separate from how we vote or what we do and support. Like we are supposed to put our faith in a box and only bring it out on Sundays. Being Christian isn’t about what we do once a week, it is our way of life, at least it is supposed to be. We are to put God first in all we do, that includes in what we support, what we affirm, and how we live our lives. Christianity isn’t a past time it’s a lifestyle. It should permeate a believer’s everyday life and God’s Word should be consulted for every decision.

Sometimes this means that your choices will be uncomfortable. Sometimes it is going to be very difficult. People will disagree, get angry, you might lose friends. I have dealt with all of these things because I won’t blindly support the things this world tells us are good and right. I have had arguments with other believers who think that the Bible needs updating or that God got some things wrong. I’m sorry, He doesn’t get things wrong and we don’t need the Bible 2016 edition. God never changes. The things that are within His will do not change.

Then you have the “well that’s fine for you but let the rest of us do what we want”. We can’t really do that either because we are called to love everyone. Loving everyone means you want salvation for everyone. It means you want everyone living within God’s will so they can find God’s purpose for their lives and so they can receive His blessings.

I am pro-life, pretty sure everyone knows that, and it’s been posed to me in this way “if you don’t like it then don’t get one but you shouldn’t try to stop everyone else”. Its not that we just don’t like it, we see it as the destruction of one of God’s children, made in His image, the ending of an innocent life. So basically you are asking us to turn our backs on something offensive to God because it “isn’t our business”. How many horrible things in this world could have been prevented if we didn’t have that “its not my business” mentality?

Anyway before I veer off on that topic, which I am extremely passionate about, let’s get back on track. Living out or faith isn’t easy, it wasn’t meant to be easy. Jesus tells us that as He was hated so too will we be hated and persecuted. We nail ourselves to the cross with Him. Maybe you don’t like all of His teachings, you don’t have to like it but you do need to obey it. From Proverbs 3: Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. That’s a really good chapter to read right there. So many people forget that HE is God, we are not.

Let’s not be lukewarm in our faith. Let’s not water it down to make it happy and comfortable so we can fill our seats on Sunday. We all stumble, we all fail. Lord knows I have and continue to do so. I missed 2 weeks of church and already started to backslide. I got away from being in His Word daily and I began to turn to the things that I used to use to fill me up. Shopping with money I don’t have has been a big one for me. Like buying things will bring me peace. I had a lot of times I wanted to make a snarky comment on something someone posted but, happily, I actually listened to the voice that told to “walk away”. Being argumentative isn’t going to further the Kingdom and only robs me of my peace and gets all grumpy all day. It felt so good to get back into church, hear an amazing message that actually went right along with the things I had on my mind, and fill my Holy Spirit tank back up. We had communion and a moment of silence where we were to reflect on Jesus’ sacrifice and what it means and to ask for forgiveness and for Him to be with us and I wept for my mistakes and for this world and the direction it has gone in. I wept for what He suffered for us and for His all encompassing love. He didn’t do that so that we can celebrate our iniquities. He came to free us from them so that we could live full lives in His service according to His will for everything He does for us is for our good.

So many good passages to post along with this, I have picked out three I will share. A couple of them are long so bear with me!

-To the angel of the church in Laodicea write:

These are the words of the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the ruler of God’s creation.  I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other!  So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth.  You say, ‘I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.’ But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked.  I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see.

Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest and repent.  Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.

 To the one who is victorious, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I was victorious and sat down with my Father on his throne.  Whoever has ears, let them hear what the Spirit says to the churches. – Revelation 3:14-22

-When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures,  idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division,  envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God.

 But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!

Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there. Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives. Let us not become conceited, or provoke one another, or be jealous of one another. – Galatians 5:19-26

Perhaps most importantly and simply put:

-Those who love your instructions have great peace and do not stumble. - Psalm 119:165