Oftentimes, I get my revelations or whispers or whatever you want to call it, while I am laying with my son at his bedtime. There in the dark, quiet room, snuggled up to the amazing gift that God sent to us. I think it’s probably the calmest I am throughout a normal day. I don’t know if calmest is the proper English but I’m going with it.
Anyway, I was laying there thinking. I’d been praying some about what we are supposed to do with some changes going on in our church. We go to church about 66 miles from where we live. If you’ve read my previous entries, I’ve talked about it, yep we still commute there! We were in a small group and up until recently the groups met right after service there on the premises. That has now changed to meeting at a home throughout the week. The only group that we could even consider going to would be our old group since it meets Sundays so we are already out there, but the timing means we’d have to waste about 2-3 hours after church somewhere and most of the members are older/retired so we were concerned about our son not having any other kids around and being super bored during the 2 hour meeting. It kind of looks like there isn’t a place for us. I’d drive a second day but not everyone is on board with that and that’s understandable. I’m a stay at home mom and my husband has a long work commute. I get why he wouldn’t necessarily want to add even more to his weekly travels. Our levels of devotion to church in general are different right now, I’m sure that isn’t an uncommon thing in families. We’ve had some opportunities to get involved in things closer to home but something always seems to close those doors before we ever walk through them. I tend to take that as a sign. I truly believe that God closes and opens doors for a reason.
Our pastor has also been encouraging us to find “community” in the area we live in. It's how you know he’s one of the good ones, he’s more concerned about us than about his church’s attendance rolls.
So, this is where we get to what went through my mind in those quiet moments this Saturday night. I have always felt like we are where we are meant to be but always kind of questioned why God would have us move out here but travel so far and be so split from the people we enjoy being around. So, the first thing I got was how comfortable and even lazy we have become regarding church and faith in America. It’s something that has been talked about a lot but I was reminded about how, in other countries, people go to great lengths and at great peril in order to meet and worship together. When you have a church on every corner and you are free to come and go you get more interested in convenience than calling. I have even been asked why we drive so far when there must be churches all over the place near us. There definitely are. We have one we could walk to if we wanted to. So, should our attendance be based on convenience? I don’t think so. I think we go where we are told to go. I get the same answer when I ask God about the small group situation. It makes for a very long day if we do the Sunday group or it requires an additional commute for one of the others. Ugh such a hardship. While people in China are hiding in basements or being imprisoned or killed but they still do it anyway. That’s the difference between our comfortable faith, our “only if it’s convenient” attitude here in the US and people on fire for God who will risk life and limb to worship Him.
“Okay God I hear you.” He wasn’t quite done yet though. Then the words “maybe the community I have for you isn’t where you live”. Do “your people” truly have to be the ones that live near you? God sends people all over the place, to remote islands, to war torn countries, to wherever they are needed and also to the places THEY need for themselves. Why should we be different? Just because we aren’t being sent on some overseas mission doesn’t mean that our church isn’t our mission field. I like to think we are needed; we are told we are so that tells me we make a difference there. More so, I think we need them. I have never felt more comfortable or at home anywhere. I feel recharged on Sundays, if we miss for some reason I feel “off” all week. I am not a social person but I relish the conversations I have with the friends we have made there, even when its just small talk. It feels like family which is how it should feel. Our son has made friends, more friends than he has made in 2 years at school. He may fuss about the drive but he enjoys himself when we get there and the best part is, he knows he is cared about and feels safe. He knows the adults and who he can go to and he seems to add to his friend group fairly regularly. He needs stability and I don’t want him to have to start from scratch. I don’t want to go back to going to a service and then going home like we did when we attended a large church.
So, I got up with those words having been spoken into my mind with the intent to sit and write this very thing as soon as I was able but we had to get up early for church so I figured it would be after we got back. What I didn’t expect was to get some serious confirmation during our church service.
During the prayer right before getting into the message our pastor spoke about how privileged we are here to have the freedom to gather like we do to worship and spend time together as a church and how not everyone gets that. The sheer level of comfort we have in this country to assemble. It truly echoed exactly what went through my mind the night before. I had to wipe tears from my face when the prayer ended.
There were parts of the sermon that touched on the same sentiment as well and really, in other recent ones it had been mentioned that we should approach our faith sacrificially. Not to just be consumers but to give of ourselves even when it may not be comfortable or convenient. I left there today feeling surer than ever that we are where we are supposed to be.
Jesus gifted me with total life change when I fully accepted Him. He has provided me with a kind of life I never could have dreamed of. One not spent hiding behind the walls of my house. That healing is something I will never be able to repay so I am willing to go to whatever lengths I need to in order to be where He wants me to be. He gave His life for us, surely, we can give an entire day to him at the very least. That tank of gas doesn’t matter. We can have some pretty good conversations on those car rides, arguments too sometimes but you know the devil has to make himself known once in a while.
I have a feeling the solution will come, we as a family will figure it out. Every fiber of my being knows we are where we are meant to be.
Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and He will establish your plans - Proverbs 16:3
